Nurturing Your Older Kids: The Tea Time Ritual

I would never say having a baby is easy. On the contrary! But when you have an only child, the focus is simple. There’s only one tiny being to look out for. You can drop everything else for the sake of that tiny being and feel justified.

Dishes? They can wait. Laundry? Whatever. Errands? Hopefully you stocked up on canned goods. Everything else can be put on the back burner if your baby needs you.

But when you get pregnant with your second, you have to start juggling! What were your concerns when your first child became a sibling?

For some reason, my transition from 1 baby to 2 babies was fairly simple. But I did worry when 2 was going to become 3. I found out I was pregnant when my second was only 9 months old. I was elated – but also worried about my baby-about-to-be-a-middle. Was he ready for this? Were any of us? How would I ensure that my boy and his 2-and-a-half-year-old brother got everything they needed? The unknowns were consuming.

Luckily – and as with most things in motherhood – we slowly figured it out. A few months after I had our daughter, we started to find our routine. And one thing that allowed me intimate time with my sons was tea time!

Every day, after my daughter’s first nap (spent in our Beco Gemini – more on that next week!), I would start tea and prepare a snack alongside it – usually trail mix or muffins. Then, we would set our tray (teapot, tea cups, & snack) and head on over to their “kids’ table.” It was truly an event!

Next, the boys would sit at their table. I would sit on the ground next to them. And our baby Ruthie would do tummy time on a soft blanket right there with us. We’d sip tea, eat munchies, talk about anything, and read our favorite books. There, we would linger and enjoy. Endlessly! Well, until Ruthie said No more tummy time!

Even now, I’m sighing at the thought of it! These were truly precious times. It relaxed us and helped us stayed connected with each other. It led us to our newest favorite books. It ensured that I actually looked them in the eyes as much as I should, heard what they had to say, and smiled when they shared their hearts. I know I can get consumed with baby care, so the reassurance that my big kids are also being nurtured is everything.

What helps you connect with your kids when it’s not a daily given? How do you accommodate all your babies when it’s not easy?

How does Marabou support women?

Moms who used to “lie-in” for forty days now have to pick themselves up within a week to get back to work. Grandmas, sisters and best friends who otherwise would have been there to help a woman transition into motherhood now live too far away and often can’t take time away from their full time job. Household chores and caring for older children fall on the woman who just delivered a new life and whose body needs rest. But we live in a sprawled world and helping hands are plentiful but often too far to be of benefit. 

Marabou Services is a unique gift registry which provides services instead of stuff. Most mom’s get too many onesies, too many baby blankets and not enough helping hands. How can you give you daughter living in Japan married to a Navy sailor a helping hand? How can you lend a hand to your best friend who moved to California? How do you ask for help when none of your family lives near you anymore?

Start a Marabou Gift Registry!

With a Marabou gift registry you can ask for any service you know will be of benefit during postpartum recovery.

Postpartum doulas for a first time mom

House cleanings for moms of multiples

Childcare for moms with older children!

Once your registry is created, add it to any other registry or post it to your Facebook and ask that your friends and family contribute to your postpartum service, rather than buying you more stuff.

More and more moms find they have to figure out postpartum alone. Women don't have the same support like they used to. Is it any wonder why PMDs are on the rise? Women are embittered by the journey through motherhood simply because no one was there to lend a hand.

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