Somewhere along the way, I stopped expecting *me* time. When you’re a young mother, everyone emphasizes its importance to you. That you need to find time for yourself – everyday! – in order to stay balanced, to be the best mom you can be. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE an uninterrupted hour on a daily basis. I’m an introvert; it’s how I recharge. I was able to get me time when I had one kid who napped. But after #2 came along, me time became elusive! And since I had grown to expect it, I was bitter when I didn’t have it for a week straight. Honestly, not having me time on a regularly basis was somewhat inevitable, but its loss was upsetting.
I prescribe to Attachment Parenting. For me, this means that – at least initially, when they are young – I’m never away from them. Even when they’re napping, they’re napping on me. When they’re sleeping, they’re sleeping with me. Heck, when they’re eating, they’re eating from me! There isn’t a lot of wiggle room to accommodate time to myself; it takes a lot of intention and assistance from another adult to get any.
Now that I have three children, me time is more out of reach than ever. So, instead of grappling for time to myself, I take what I can get and practice gratitude for whatever it is or however much it is. For me, it means ignoring thoughts on the me time I didn’t get that week, and being thankful for what I did get. This way of thinking has made me much happier. If I’m home with our kids and I sit down with the crossword (yes, I do crosswords, and next week I’ll get my AARP card) only to get interrupted with a poopy diaper, I try to think, Awesome! Five minutes of crossword fun! Instead of, Ugh! I just sat down!
It’s the small things: a square of dark chocolate savored (quickly and discreetly) in the kitchen. Coffee that’s lukewarm instead of ice cold. A bright and sunny day to enjoy. Ten minutes to crochet (again, AARP!).
There’s a bit of joy to be found in the little things, and I’ve learned in this tumultuous journey of daily motherhood (harder than any other job I’ve had!), I always get what I need right when I need it. As long as I’m looking. If I choose to be blind to the good things around me, if I’m determined to focus on the negatives, then I will be. I’ll be negative. Understanding that good things are there and that it’s worth just taking what I can get helps me weather this season of life and be full of joy instead of grumps.
How does Marabou support women?
We live in culture where “bouncing back” is more valued than proper rest. As admirable as it may be for a sports star to get back on the field, the same rules don’t apply to postpartum recovery. The traditional resting period has been stolen from women through pressure to get back to their job or simply through lack of presence.
Grandmas, sisters and best friends who otherwise would have been there to help a woman transition into motherhood often live too far away to be of any help. Household chores and caring for older children inevitably fall on the mom. But she just delivered a new life! She needs rest.
Marabou Services is a unique gift registry which provides services instead of stuff. Most mom’s get too many onesies, too many baby blankets and not enough helping hands. Break out of a destructive cultural norm and start a Marabou registry today.
With a Marabou registry you can sing up for any service which will benefit you or someone you know during the postpartum recovery period.
Postpartum doulas for a first time mom
House cleanings for moms of multiples
Childcare for moms with older children!
Once your registry is created, add it to any other registry or post it to your Facebook and ask friends and family contribute to your postpartum service, rather than buying you more stuff.