Sometimes, it feels as if motherhood is about my effort to minimize mistakes. I try to mess up as little as possible.
But really, there are days I feel like I make mistake after mistake. I yell at my kids. I ignore them too much. I’m distracted. I just plain old don’t treat them very well. I’m disconnected and I don’t provide the things I know they need. It’s a horrible feeling to end a day knowing it was like that. I feel so bad for my kids. I vow to do better tomorrow. And I beat myself up quite a bit.
On some of those days – when I’m in a sour mood and feel I’m messing it up horribly – my kids don’t reciprocate. Instead, they show me magic in the simplest ways. They show me that they’re thriving despite me. They show me their pure love for me and each other. They laugh and play despite their monster mom. It makes me realize that I believe the lie that – exclusively – they are the result of my efforts. I forget that they’re their own beings and can do well even when I don’t.
It is true that we ought to do the best we can. And we ought to improve ourselves. But our kids are apparently pursuing emotional independence from the time they’re born. And man, are they resilient! Thank the Lord!
We have intuition about how we mother and if it’s going well. But luckily, our own feelings often don’t tell the whole story. You may feel as if you’re failing your kids miserably. But in those moments of weakness, your kids are just happy to be able to call such a strong and beautiful woman “mom.”
How does Marabou support women?
We live in culture where “bouncing back” is more valued than proper rest. As admirable as it may be for a sports star to get back on the field, the same rules don’t apply to postpartum recovery. The traditional resting period has been stolen from women through pressure to get back to their job or simply through lack of presence.
Grandmas, sisters and best friends who otherwise would have been there to help a woman transition into motherhood often live too far away to be of any help. Household chores and caring for older children inevitably fall on the mom. But she just delivered a new life! She needs rest.
Marabou Services is a unique gift registry which provides services instead of stuff. Most mom’s get too many onesies, too many baby blankets and not enough helping hands. Break out of a destructive cultural norm and start a Marabou registry today.
With a Marabou registry you can sing up for any service which will benefit you or someone you know during the postpartum recovery period.
Postpartum doulas for a first time mom
House cleanings for moms of multiples
Childcare for moms with older children!
Once your registry is created, add it to any other registry or post it to your Facebook and ask friends and family contribute to your postpartum service, rather than buying you more stuff.