Parents, I give you: Lament of a Clean House
Woe to you Mother, or Father,
Who attempts a clean house to make.
Dirt and grime and things much worse
You can’t live with this headache!
Valiant though your efforts be,
You just gave birth, which gives you three!
And three is three too many for me.
If you don’t sleep, you’ll go crazy!
If you have the motivation to clean,
Your uphill fight is bold.
You strap the baby onto your chest
And continue to scrub the mold.
And in the rising tidal wave
Of crumbs and sand and goo,
You hesitate and then you say
“Can you leave them for just a few?”
But it’s too late: you already started
The table, floor, and counter tops.
Till finally clean! Ex-germinated!
Your mind’s at peace, the kids are quiet,
You reverently begin to mop.
Uh oh … the kids are quiet?
How long has that silence lasted?
Many mothers and fathers would agree that maintaining a clean house is one of the biggest challenges postpartum.
We all try really hard to maintain our homes, to keep them at some level of cleanliness. But, we’ve also all had those moments. Perhaps we have them daily. Moments you rue having utter focus. You’re scrubbing the bathtub. You’re making headway on a dinner you know will rock. You finally tackle that mountain of crusty dishes and your counter is so clean! You have a small celebration of one and you revel in your victory until your face falls suddenly and you realize: your house is quiet.
For anyone else, quiet is good. Quiet is peaceful. Quiet is … nice. But you, dear mother, have small children! One who love to discover. Award-winning mess makers. Fiends who wreak havoc in 32 seconds. Messes that take you 32 minutes to undo!
For you, silence is suspicious and can mean your children are asleep somewhere (hopefully but unlikely) or are about to negate any victory you’ve accomplished elsewhere in the house.
You brace yourself every time. Because in the past, you’ve discovered blue paint on your two sons head to toe (and handprints on your duvet). You’ve discovered cocoa powder covering half your kitchen (and on your two sons head to toe). You’ve discovered your cat’s new haircut.
Now, taking your hawk-like eyeballs off of your minions is inevitable: putting your baby down for nap, unpacking the car, prepping dinner. But I think we would all agree that minimizing their … opportunities, we’ll say … for creating havoc, is advised. I’m all about free play. But I’m also for walls free from fingerprints and pet safety.
This is why my cleaning mindset has become about zone defense. I clean, tidy, do whatever I have to do in the same zone of the house my kids are in. Luckily, this doesn’t mean I have to be on top of them, just close enough to know they’re not on unwanted adventures.
- Doing the dishes and meal prep while they have snack.
- Scrubbing the toilet or cleaning the vanity while they splash in the tub during bath time.
- Folding laundry while they’re exploring my room and jumping on the bed.
- Dusting and vacuuming while they’re in the living room or playroom.
Surprisingly, I rarely feel my cleaning is inefficient or gets interrupted. I get interrupted – a lot! – of course, but it’s a huge relief to know I’m nipping many unwanted mishaps and messes in the bud simply with my presence. This has also become such an opportunity. My kids see me exercising industry and want to be included! It lends itself well to kids helping out when they are old enough and ready. Why yes, 4-and-a-half-year-old! You may vacuum the play room!
How does Marabou support women?
We live in culture where “bouncing back” is more valued than proper rest. As admirable as it may be for a sports star to get back on the field, the same rules don’t apply to postpartum recovery. The traditional resting period has been stolen from women through pressure to get back to their job or simply through lack of presence.
Grandmas, sisters and best friends who otherwise would have been there to help a woman transition into motherhood often live too far away to be of any help. Household chores and caring for older children inevitably fall on the mom. But she just delivered a new life! She needs rest.
Marabou Services is a unique gift registry which provides services instead of stuff. Most mom’s get too many onesies, too many baby blankets and not enough helping hands. Break out of a destructive cultural norm and start a Marabou registry today.
With a Marabou registry you can sing up for any service which will benefit you or someone you know during the postpartum recovery period.
Postpartum doulas for a first time mom
House cleanings for moms of multiples
Childcare for moms with older children!
Once your registry is created, add it to any other registry or post it to your Facebook and ask friends and family contribute to your postpartum service, rather than buying you more stuff.