Bravo To You Working Parents

Today is National Working Parents’ Day! It is a day to honor parents who work to provide for their families. I have been lucky enough to stay home with my kids since I became a mother, but as I prepared for this post, the challenges of working parents were so evident.

At first, I imagined doing a post on the current legislation supporting working parents, especially new parents. Maternity and paternity leave came to mind. I didn’t want to compare our parental leave mandates in the U.S. to other nations. To me, that’s like comparing my family to yours – we are us and you are you. We all have different needs and ways to thriving. But, I was interested in the research done on what’s the ideal length of parental leave in terms of mother and baby health. What’s the sweet spot for optimal family happiness and health? I bet you in the end, this sweet spot is good for business, too!

It seems the answer is 6-12 months! At this point, moms and babies are ready. Mothers who have this length of leave or close to it experience less Postpartum Depression and Anxiety, improved emotional health, higher breastfeeding success, and relational stability with their partners. Babies have reduced rates of SIDS and increased chance of well-baby care with a pediatrician. Without the early distraction of work, parents also report being able to exercise high sensitivity and responsiveness to their infants (see here and here). These benefits extend for decades. And it all seems pretty intuitive, right?

It’s too bad, then, that the current federal mandate is 6 weeks of unpaid leave. The general thought seems to be that improving this issue would be good for businesses, too. Paid leaves that are too long or too short discourage women from returning to work. When companies provide sufficient time off, they boost employee morale and retention and positively impact business productivity. “This is really what economists call a human capital investment. You invest in this, you will end up picking up the benefits of this policy even years later,” says Mauricio Avendano, associate professor of social science, health, and medicine at King’s College, London.

It’s clear that reaching the sweet spot of parental leave duration is an unfortunate rarity for us. Let’s hope this will improve and in the meantime: Kudos, serious kudos, to you working parents! The burdens you bear are immense. The fact that you do the impossible on a daily basis for the good of your family is incredible. There’s a reason you have a national day all your own.

How does Marabou support women?

We live in culture where “bouncing back” is more valued than proper rest. As admirable as it may be for a sports star to get back on the field, the same rules don’t apply to postpartum recovery. The traditional resting period has been stolen from women through pressure to get back to their job or simply through lack of presence.

Grandmas, sisters and best friends who otherwise would have been there to help a woman transition into motherhood often live too far away to be of any help. Household chores and caring for older children inevitably fall on the mom. But she just delivered a new life! She needs rest. 

Marabou Services is a unique gift registry which provides services instead of stuff. Most mom’s get too many onesies, too many baby blankets and not enough helping hands. Break out of a destructive cultural norm and start a Marabou registry today.

Start a Marabou Gift Registry!

With a Marabou registry you can sing up for any service which will benefit you or someone you know during the postpartum recovery period.

Postpartum doulas for a first time mom

House cleanings for moms of multiples

Childcare for moms with older children!

Once your registry is created, add it to any other registry or post it to your Facebook and ask friends and family contribute to your postpartum service, rather than buying you more stuff.

More and more moms find they have to figure out postpartum alone. Is it any wonder why PMDs are on the rise? Or women are embittered by the journey of motherhood? We can change that by giving the gift of peace.

Taking The Guesswork Out Of Breakfast

I don’t know about you but I’ve become less and less of a morning person since becoming a mom. Pre-kid, I prided myself on how up-and-at-‘em I could be in the morning. When my sailor husband and I were newlyweds, I would get up with him at 4 am, make him a doppio espresso, breakfast and lunch for him to take to the ship. We’d get him out the door by 0500.

{You’d think that would get him home at a reasonable hour! That’s neither here nor there. Shout out to all you rock star, handling-it-all, grin-and-bear-it military spouses!}

But now that we have 3 little ones, I feel like I should get a medal when they’re dressed, fed, and ready for the day before 8:30. On those mornings, triumphant music plays in my head (think Olympics!) as I descend the stairs with my freshly dressed and happy children. Just ignore the backwards t-shirt: he dresses himself!

Mornings are a challenge, yes, but we’ve learned to do a couple things to help ourselves out: setting out clothes the night (afternoon even!) before so preschoolers can easily dress themselves, having a routine they’re used to, and taking the guesswork out of breakfast.

My still up-and-at-‘em husband (bless his heart) knows and shares my sentiments on nutrition. Cereal isn’t enough to get the boost we want. At the same time, it’s unreasonable for us to put on our chef’s hats right out of bed after a night of broken sleep to cook an all-natural breakfast. It’s tension between good nutrition and my need for sleep! So, here’s what dear husband did:

  1. Experimented

He spent a month or two trying various breakfast recipes that were nutritious and simple. It was an audition, in a way! Come on in, breakfasts. Impress me! This was a fun process, because we got to try a bunch of different breakfasts and give some feedback.

  1. Narrowed it down

Based on important criteria – simplicity, leftover friendly, hearty – he narrowed it down to five breakfasts that he rotates through:

  • Quinoa oatmeal (click here)
  • Hearty wheat-oat-cornmeal pancakes with peanut butter and syrup
  • Potato hash (including whatever leftover veggies we have) & eggs over easy

And on the weekends since these are a little more fun:

  • Quiche (again, including leftover veggies)
  • French toast
  1. Made a repertoire

This is the part where you rinse and repeat. My husband will make a big batch of breakfast (often doubling or tripling the original recipe) and freeze or refrigerate the leftovers for the following days. He actually ends up cooking from scratch only a few times a week and we reheat as we go. Quinoa oatmeal and quiche gets refrigerated, then reheated via microwave. Pancakes and French toast get frozen, then toasted in the morning. Hash gets revived on the stove top with a little more oil (and eggs are always made fresh, of course).

Since he’s now so familiar with these few breakfasts, he can do them by heart and alter them as he chooses – adding veggies we need to get rid of, for example.

Now, most mornings I get up with the kids, all I do is microwave or pop something in the toaster and voila! Hearty breakfast! Whenever we have pancakes available, our almost 5-year-old is quick to find them in the freezer and gets them toasting before we even get out of bed.

Now that we have these meals down pat, we rifle through them without much mental effort or planning. They are all fairly nutritious, but we do try to add a boost where we can: by using peanut butter and 100% pure maple syrup on our pancakes, for example.

This isn’t just a feel-good effort so we can brag to everyone about how well we feed our children. Starting the day off right has truly had an impact. We’re not above milk and cereal; there is always a box in our pantry. But whenever we feed our kids something sugary and over-processed (like cereal, or even jam and toast), the kids drive me up the wall all morning! The simple carbohydrates go straight to their heads and they get all wound up as a result. The good thing about these five breakfasts is they are primarily whole grains, protein, or veggies.

If you’re thinking about making the switch from the normal cereal-based breakfast to a routine that is more nutritious, the least of your worries should be whether or not your kids will eat it. Sure, if cereal is around that’s all they’re going to want. But, after normalizing them to quinoa oats or only having bacon eggs and hash browns, our kids didn’t seem to be missing the cereal too much. Kids only have a short-term memory and hunger reigns. We’ve found that they eventually think that’s all there is to eat and dig right in.

This may not work for everyone’s schedule, but it sure starts kids off right in the morning. Good luck and happy breakfasts!

How does Marabou support women?

We live in culture where “bouncing back” is more valued than proper rest. As admirable as it may be for a sports star to get back on the field, the same rules don’t apply to postpartum recovery. The traditional resting period has been stolen from women through pressure to get back to their job or simply through lack of presence.

Grandmas, sisters and best friends who otherwise would have been there to help a woman transition into motherhood often live too far away to be of any help. Household chores and caring for older children inevitably fall on the mom. But she just delivered a new life! She needs rest. 

Marabou Services is a unique gift registry which provides services instead of stuff. Most mom’s get too many onesies, too many baby blankets and not enough helping hands. Break out of a destructive cultural norm and start a Marabou registry today.

Start a Marabou Gift Registry!

With a Marabou registry you can sing up for any service which will benefit you or someone you know during the postpartum recovery period.

Postpartum doulas for a first time mom

House cleanings for moms of multiples

Childcare for moms with older children!

Once your registry is created, add it to any other registry or post it to your Facebook and ask friends and family contribute to your postpartum service, rather than buying you more stuff.

More and more moms find they have to figure out postpartum alone. Is it any wonder why PMDs are on the rise? Or women are embittered by the journey of motherhood? We can change that by giving the gift of peace.

Books & Your Older Kids (Plus: Our Favorites!)

One of the main challenges of a growing family is balance. When you have a new baby, your older kids still have their own needs. I’m not talking about food and shelter here. I’m talking direct attention, affection, and affirmation.

Now hopefully, your friends, family, and postpartum doula were able to fill in for you in your weeks after childbirth while you cocooned with baby and enjoyed postpartum rest. But when your husband returns to work and the visitors fade, you’re your kids main squeeze again. I worried about this when my third was born – babies have rightful and all-consuming needs. How would my boys get the attention they needed?

One of my simple answers was reading books! Easy, right? We have a small bookcase full of kids’ books and I try every day to spend time with them in this way. I don’t know about your kids, but mine love books. As soon as I start one, their heads pop up like prairie dogs and they all scamper in to listen, no matter what they were previously doing.

I love the flexibility of this activity. If we read on our couch, I can hold and nurse a baby while my older kids snuggle in on each side. They take turns fetching books for me to read, all the while getting personal attention from me. It’s an easy way for us to connect every day.

After 756 hours spent reading to our kids, we have some favorites:

Click, Clack Moo: Cows That Type

Giggle, Giggle, Quack

Freight Train

Hurry! Hurry!

Anything from Olivier Dunrea

Rose’s Garden

Plant A Kiss

Goodnight Moon and its parodies:

Goodnight Goon and

Goodnight Loon (especially awesome if you’re from Minnesota)

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

The Grouchy Ladybug

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

Guess How Much I Love You

Love You Forever

The Giving Tree, and anything else from Shel Silverstein!

Where the Wild Things Are

The Widow’s Broom

Anything from Jan Brett: our favorite is The Mitten

Sandra Boynton Books

The Napping House (current favorite!)

Millions of Cats

Make Way for Ducklings

Blueberries for Sal

Steam Train, Dream Train

One Duck Stuck

Tap the Magic Tree

How simple! To make it even more enjoyable, try my tea time idea or take regular trips to the library to freshen up your stock of books and find more favorites.

How does Marabou support women?

We live in culture where “bouncing back” is more valued than proper rest. As admirable as it may be for a sports star to get back on the field, the same rules don’t apply to postpartum recovery. The traditional resting period has been stolen from women through pressure to get back to their job or simply through lack of presence.

Grandmas, sisters and best friends who otherwise would have been there to help a woman transition into motherhood often live too far away to be of any help. Household chores and caring for older children inevitably fall on the mom. But she just delivered a new life! She needs rest. 

Marabou Services is a unique gift registry which provides services instead of stuff. Most mom’s get too many onesies, too many baby blankets and not enough helping hands. Break out of a destructive cultural norm and start a Marabou registry today.

Start a Marabou Gift Registry!

With a Marabou registry you can sing up for any service which will benefit you or someone you know during the postpartum recovery period.

Postpartum doulas for a first time mom

House cleanings for moms of multiples

Childcare for moms with older children!

Once your registry is created, add it to any other registry or post it to your Facebook and ask friends and family contribute to your postpartum service, rather than buying you more stuff.

More and more moms find they have to figure out postpartum alone. Is it any wonder why PMDs are on the rise? Or women are embittered by the journey of motherhood? We can change that by giving the gift of peace.

How To Streamline Grocery Shopping

Grocery shopping with kids is enough to make anyone twitch. Why is this simple task so hard? What about “Don’t touch anything” means “Yes, please grab 14 boxes of pasta!”? Why the sudden need to exercise and run around despite the cart designed to look like a fire truck?

And what on earth is so intriguing about the other side of the store when you don’t even know what’s over there?

(Yup. Just answered my own question.)

I still struggle with this. We’ve moved around so much since having kids that I’ve had to get used to a new grocery store every 18 months. I wish I could pay Cub Foods for footage in their parking lot the other day. You’d see a pleasant, happy, engaged mama going in and then an hour later a crazy maniac coming out, running for her car as if fleeing a hungry bear.

HALP!

Lord knows I’ve learned a few things that have helped me. And hopefully we’ll get used to our new grocery spot soon. Here are a few things I do to make things less … well, torturous:

I categorize my list

I still prefer pen and paper, for some reason. I start my grocery list by marking 4 sections: produce, grocery, dairy, and frozen. As I add things to my list, I put it in the appropriate section. My trip through the store is much simpler and I don’t end up bouncing around as much. Here’s my Grocery List Printable.

If I can, I involve the kids!

Kids actually love to be a part of what you’re doing. If they’re old enough to be interested, humor them!

If we walk to the grocery store and I’m pushing a stroller, I let the kids push the kid-sized cart and lug the groceries. Why they love it, I don’t know, but my almost 3-year-old sticks to me like glue and is at the ready when I hand him something.

If I bring coupons to use, I let someone be in charge of them. I’ll bring a small envelope for one of my kids to hang onto and as I find the items, I’ll hand the applicable coupon for them to keep in the envelope. Again, they love being in charge of that.

I’ll bring a $5 bill, which a kid gets to keep in his pocket. He then gets to pick out a treat within a section (this usually means berries from the produce department). We keep that item separate – the kid can even hold it in his lap or carry it – and he gets to pay for it separately at the end of the grocery trip.

My last go-to involvement is loading the groceries onto the belt. Kids love it, even the heavy items. Again, I’m bewildered and so thankful 😊

I bring snacks.

Nothing makes a child stay put like a snack. Granola bars or string cheese are good for this situation. Enough said.

I take a trip to the bathroom, if necessary.

If someone keeps acting up, we take a trip to the bathroom (or in front of the bathroom if it’s not cart friendly). Here, they get a very direct reminder about what good behavior is in the grocery store. My kids hate the idea of being brought to the bathroom, so even the question, “Do we have to take a trip to the bathroom?” usually makes them wise up. They know what it means! Most of the time, if you give extra diligence to nip things in the bud, your kids will start to get it. Unfortunately, this often means having to inconvenience yourself by bringing them aside somewhere or taking them out to the car. Yes, grocery trips take 3 times longer with kids. Oi vey!

A word on rewards: I try to avoid rewarding good behavior in the grocery store, although I completely understand why parents do it. I try to remind myself that I want to encourage good behavior in public whether I treat them or not. Grocery shopping is simply something we have to do, and I want to encourage my kids to behave for its own sake. That’s their contribution. I also like giving treats because I love them, not to coerce them into good behavior. It’s way more fun that way.

You can do this, mama. If you like to grocery shop for yourself, you CAN. Even with your circus in tow. Just don’t forget how amazing you are. If you need an extra boost, just wear your cape to the store.

How does Marabou support women?

We live in culture where “bouncing back” is more valued than proper rest. As admirable as it may be for a sports star to get back on the field, the same rules don’t apply to postpartum recovery. The traditional resting period has been stolen from women through pressure to get back to their job or simply through lack of presence.

Grandmas, sisters and best friends who otherwise would have been there to help a woman transition into motherhood often live too far away to be of any help. Household chores and caring for older children inevitably fall on the mom. But she just delivered a new life! She needs rest. 

Marabou Services is a unique gift registry which provides services instead of stuff. Most mom’s get too many onesies, too many baby blankets and not enough helping hands. Break out of a destructive cultural norm and start a Marabou registry today.

Start a Marabou Gift Registry!

With a Marabou registry you can sing up for any service which will benefit you or someone you know during the postpartum recovery period.

Postpartum doulas for a first time mom

House cleanings for moms of multiples

Childcare for moms with older children!

Once your registry is created, add it to any other registry or post it to your Facebook and ask friends and family contribute to your postpartum service, rather than buying you more stuff.

More and more moms find they have to figure out postpartum alone. Is it any wonder why PMDs are on the rise? Or women are embittered by the journey of motherhood? We can change that by giving the gift of peace.

On Staying Connected with your Spouse after Childbirth

“Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today.”

– The Impressive Clergyman, The Princess Bride

Find someone great, tie the knot, and boom! Built-in companionship for life. After that, you just hang out and enjoy each other and live happily ever after.

Aaaww!

Marriage isn’t exactly a crockpot. You can’t simply set it and forget it. It’s more like frying eggs: if you’re not there at the right time with the right tool to flip or scramble, they get a little burnt (or a lot burnt). They stick to the pan. They make a crusty mess. Then you have to figure do you stay with these eggs or throw them out and get new ones?

Then, you decide to add kids to mix. There’s bacon. Sautéing onions. Flipping pancakes. It’s easier to pay attention to your beloved eggs when it’s just them, but when you add more to the mix, those eggs have a higher chance of getting burnt. Plus, all that food on the stove is exhausting and the bacon spits at you and the pancakes flip onto the edge of the pan. Argh!

I want to share this week what my husband and I have learned about making sure the eggs (aka: him!) don’t get burnt or forgotten, and how we have successfully avoided throwing him out… for now. 😉

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